Third Week Reflection
I sit here with my students and write. We all are reflecting on our first three weeks of school. The clickity-clatter of their iPads’ keyboard makes us aware that something actually did happen in the last three weeks and we all want to share. Faces illuminate from from the reflections; memories and screens alike. Fingers tap, flick, and bounce.
We are off to a good start. Rocky. Slow(er). But a good start. This year we’ve introduced 1:1 iPads in our fifth and sixth grade classrooms. This was made possible from a 21st Century EdTech grant. As a teachers and the project director and instructional coach in and for the grant, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and under qualified for the responsibility that I now take on.
Then, at the peak of my disbelief I fell into a conversation had by many of my online colleagues, PLNers, regarding the effectiveness of the iPad versus a laptop/netbook in the classroom. All sides of the disucssion had valid arguments and all convinced me that I was right and wrong for choosing the learning device I did. What will the implications be on the rest of the year if I didn’t make the right choice? I can’t return them now.
And then I throw a whole new model of classroom instruction/environment/engagement on top of all this; but not only for me, for four other teachers as well. While we agree on the premise of inquiry-based learning and the importance of student-directed, student-owned learning, we are all in different places on how this all looks and works in the classroom. As the “head” of this grant team, do I allow for autonomy in this area or do we need commonality to provide consistent data and research when we report back to the State and Federal Government? There are so many questions I need answered and so many answers that need more questioning.
I struggle with being a teacher and a teacher’s teacher. I want to provide all the support I can to my team, but I also feel that my students are a huge priority. Do I step out to put out small fires here or there or do I tell my team they need to wait until I’m out of the classroom? My team is on different levels of techiness and they all want different PD at different times for different resources and tools. I’m waiting for the migraine that actually does cause my head to exploded. I’ll make sure to post that to YouTube and Vimeo and Animoto and and and and and. There are so many ands at this point, I don’t know how to even start, let alone where to start.
But I will survive. I’ll come out on top and I will love every last minute of it.
So, room 16, you’re why I do this all, day in and day out. Don’t forget that.
So, Julie and kiddos, you’re why I do this for my school, for our community. I see potential. But we can still improve. And if I don’t do it, then who?
What a big, hot mess! A good mess nonetheless. Ready, aim, fire would never totally be in the cards for something like this. Fire, ready, aim perhaps?
There is a teacher on my team with iPads for her classroom via a grant she wrote last year. I hear lots of similar feelings. I’ll be looking forward to more updates.
I wish you the best. I’ve read your enthusiasm for tech and your passion for students. You have a lot of people rooting for you.
Thanks thanks thanks Justin. I appreciate the support. We’ve got a lot still to do and a lot of time left. I look forward to the challenge. I just hope my sanity lasts long enough
Your last sentence is my favorite. No one can comprehend the levels of anxiety that accompany servant leadership on a continual basis. Just as one thing is accomplished, twelve more crop up on the never-ending to-do list. I imagine you feel as though you need to be all things to all people, yet struggle to decide when to say “no” or “I can attend to that later” because you have responsibilities of your own, with deadlines, too.
I would encourage you not to play the “what if” game. You did an amazing thing securing those technologies for your students, and you’re putting yourself out there to guide and support your colleagues through this process. From a purchasing perspective, what’s done is done. And while everyone on your team has varying PD needs, there are likely common strands where you could bring people together in teams to explore and learn more about. Relating the PD to pedagogy, not certain apps or tools will reap the greatest rewards. If you have teachers who start to stand out in terms of competency with the tools, empower them as leaders in the PD process.
You can’t be expected to do it all.
Even if they (will always) expect that from you
Be proud of all you’ve accomplished and all that’s yet to come!